


Porcelain

by 21freys



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Depression, Hallucinations, Open Ending, Schizophrenia, Suicide Attempt, Trans Character, kind of, please be careful when reading this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-14
Updated: 2016-02-14
Packaged: 2018-05-20 09:52:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 502
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6001609
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/21freys/pseuds/21freys
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>lmao gUESS WHO'S BACK WITH ANOTHER SAD AND DEPRESSING STORY. as almost all my others are, please proceed with caution. Title from the marianas trench song,</p>
            </blockquote>





	Porcelain

“What do you want tyler what do you want from me, am I not buying good enough food, did I send you to the wrong school, is it because I'm not home that much?”

 

His mom was hysterical, he was used to this he just needed to shower but she was mad because he couldn’t talk properly to her, to anyone. No one understood.

 

“Is it because of Josh?”

 

He looked up, staring straight into her eyes without saying anything, she closed her mouth she knew that was too far. He turned around and walked to the bathroom, she didn’t stop him. She never stopped him any more, too scared of what he’d do. Scaring his own mother, that’s great what a great son, or great daughter she would be thinking. He’s reached the bathroom now, he closes the door and turns on the shower. The mirror, he must avoid the mirror he knows he’ll break it otherwise. He weighs himself, 61.5 kilos. He sighs, he’s put on weight again, he does not know if he’s crying or not, he cant feel it any more. Its happening more and more, he’s losing the feeling in his hands or his feet or his face. The worst part is he doesn’t even know if he cares any more.

 

Josh Josh Josh, why did she have to bring him up, Tyler can’t breathe, they don’t speak of Josh any more he wont let them she knows she should have known. He laughs when he looks back at how he thought hed have it figured out by now. Instead hes standing in his shower looking down at his skin and watching it slowly fall away even though really, he knows hes fine. No one else sees his skin falling off so he thinks it must be a hallucination. He sits down he doesn’t have the energy any more, standing is so tiring. His mothers words run through his head, how much is he hurting her? How much did he hurt Josh, how much is he hurting Mark? He hurts everyone and he doesn’t even mean to any more. He’s poison nothing more. No one deserves what he does to them, his parents are trying their best, but he never gives them anything back. Tyler is broken.

 

He scrubs at his skin till the blood is running down the drain along with the dirt, but not his sins, his sins wont leave him behind he needs them gone, gone, not here any more. Not here, just like Josh. His thoughts are every where he cant get his head to be quiet he just needs it quiet. He doesn’t feel he has anything any more and he doesn’t know how to cope. No. he doesn’t want to cope. He looks down. There’s far more blood than he realised. He can feel himself passing out and realises he's screaming. As he loses consciousness he vaguely hears the door being smashed. He closes his eyes and lets himself go.

 

**Author's Note:**

> please be careful okay? um this is kind of an open ending i put the warning in just in case, i may make a second chapter to this, I'm not really sure. so yeah my apologies again its not that great I'm just ranting.


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